"Learning" [10 Scenes From Training - real title]

i liked this reading assignment, yet it was different from the rest of the pieces read so far. this - as they all really are - is more about teaching/training a sub within diferent scenarios. some are quite interesting.

my favorite is the "His fingers guiding her mouth" snippet: she is giving Him head as He fingers her pussy...however He plays, the movement of finger[s] is how deep she is to take His cock. He teases her until He lets her know the moment He climaxes.
i am a whore for fingers! love the feel of being finger-fucked by a Man. the climaxes are awesome, heaven!

another was "tied up": a Dom whipped His sub and wanted her still so tied her up. i can stay still with a hand but a whip? hmm

each scene was to show the "degree" of control a Dom has and can express. at the same time, it shows how much a sub can take...

written March 10, 2009

"Body Art"

He asked me to share why i have "body art," or in my language, why i'm inked. His statement, "at some point in your life you had no body art...to me..back then you were pristine...the rest is just stories of drunkenness or poor decision making skills"

i was not drunk when i decided or received the three tattoos. i also thought about each one for years before doing so.

the first, a Winnie-the Pooh dancing on a <>< symbol, which reps God's dancefloor in heaven. Pooh Bear reps "all God's children," if in fact we are His [and He truly exist]. so basically, heaven is a time to be kids and party!

the second tattoo i received is that of my soon to be 20 year year old son. the picture is him at two years old. why did i do it? i gave up my son when he was born. i had no chance of raising him on my own. anyway, my tattoo shows the love i have for him....

my last tattoo is a Bible verse, ecls. 3:4 "....a time to grieve and a time to dance." this choice as a tattoo developed in two ways...
one, i love dancing, a beautiful artform. being disabled, dancing is limited for me but i still try! and two, grieving takes place daily on earth, there is always sadness. but maybe one day - i can hope, yes? overall, there is a time for all things to take place and they will in the way they should.

written March 10, 2009

"Such a Good girl" [0800 hour Appointment - real title]

fourth reading assignment and i really liked it. i am tired tonight but knew i needed to read for He has told me to read all i can and write daily. each assignment may be easy to read, yet i understand He desires i understand the nuances of a submissive.

this reading, for example was basically a sub's "appointment" with her Domme. from the first moment, sub disobeyed by not wearing what was specified. also, she masturbated without permission several times. she paid her punishment [Sir, what are "pegs?"] and was actually rewarded quite nicely. and i do mean quite...

i would love to be in the situation she was in....my mind put me in the sub's body. the spanking that my ass felt as i read the words of every swat and sting.

sitting here, reading the words, wanting to feel it for real...being OTK of You. Your hand creating the beautiful sound i love so much. the sound leading to the feel of pain & pleasure, leading to the vibrator being placed on clit just to have orgasms course through my body and have Dom[me] hold me, kissing me tenderly, as if protecting me of my own desires, my addiction to the climax, yet allowing me to enjoy it in safety.

taking instructions as a sub and knowing my place will make me such a good girl...

written March 9, 2009

"How Rude!"

i lack sleep today as i write and think. why must neighbors decide to be rude assholes and fight at 2:00 AM!!!? if i did not sleep nude i would have gone outside and asked if they had a fucking brain in their heads! kept me awake for hours and once awake - stayed awake!

karma's a bitch....will be waking them soon. where's my ac/dc?!!

i know, i know - not very submissive. but dammit even a nymph needs sleep! brain needs rest to be workable!

written March 9, 2009

"What if...?" [Purity Laws, chs1-7: real title]

another assignment of reading. this one, based on sexual purity [not fun]. from a man's POV - what happens when not pure! caught, exposed and tried in a court of law. then punished, in excruciating ways. i do not have a cock & balls [although i'm told i have more balls than most men], i felt the extreme pain described in these chapters. so much so that i can only write one section on it. going from a "twisting" to "caged" and weights were quite trying. but to end as it did, with wax and chastity device - permanent...

two different thoughts run through my submissive mind...
1st, can i be so "controlled" by a Dom that if i were to create my own sexual pleasure, He could/would punish me in such hard & cruel ways? what would happen if He denies me pleasure and i defy Him? would He use similar techniques, such as hot wax & chastity belt?

the other thought i had came from my "legal" mindset -
what would take place if the only time one could have sex is if one is married and planning on having children? could "big brother" control people to point where sexual pleasure was prohibited, even masturbation? we would have a world full of pissed-off people OR tons of kids! kids would overrun the world!

already - prostitution is punishable by law. why? would it not be "easier," safer if legalized? the women [and men who do it] would not be seen as less than. anyway i digress...
just think though, what if personal pleasure was taken away...?

written March 8, 2009

"R is for Roleplay"

another reading - not exactly sure what to think about it....was not exactly "bdsm" per se but very sexy and oh-so-kinky. i could not tell who was the Dom or who was the sub. T/they seemed to blur the lines.

i would like to enjoy such an act as T/they performed - the most intimate act i could think of at the moment. i have always felt anything orally is quite intimate. yet, the act of orally stimulating another's anal area.

what goes through a person's mind in order to ready oneself to "go there" with their tongue? is it any different than oral acts? would i do it? would i know how to? could i please the Person as S/He desired?

written March 7, 2009

"Analogy: part 2"

there is nothing to say after reading the last part, except ....
"this nymph needs, wants, craves, desires, begs and pleads for such a night as this!"

i know in a D/s relationship, it is His pleasure that is to be fulfilled - but in reality He brings pleasure to the sub as He receives it from her. in this section of reading the Dom sees how ready the sub is for His last lesson. He instantly puts her through the session using the tools of the night; anal dildo, lubricannt, vibrator, rope, blindfold and of course the collar...and His hard cock.

the scene involving the acts performed causes me to wonder how it would actually feel to be treated as He did her, all in love and carefully bringing out who she really was.

she is a submissive who will please her Dom in any form He ask...

written March 7, 2009

"Analogy"

this read was quite interesting. He wants her ready to be taken by Him in another way...her ass must belong to Him fully - not just the cheeks but her whole being must "accept" Him.

He had her ready herself, her ass by giving her seven ass-dildos to work with and very specific directions to follow. once she could take the seventh, she would have Him.

i have never been in this situation. i have been ass-fucked without any "help" as she had. at first i hated it because i was not allowed the chance to have lubricant. knowing a Man wants to fuck a tight ass, i as a sub gave into His desire and need to have me as He wanted. over the years, i have come to greatly enjoy being fucked anally. this pleasure, not just from the feel of a cock inside a too-tight space but the look on the face of the Man...the joy He feels of His cock being surrounded by such a feeling! 

and the orgasms - "OMG!"

written March 7, 2009

"Truly His"

another part of reading and i never want it to end....fantasy in real life? my thought is that she became His tonight - yes, T/they had performed oral sex on each other but not together [as in 69 or the same night].

tonight, He truly took her as He desired her...but only after having her do a "chore." after all, a submissive does as she is told. 

in a dimly lit room, the Dom positions His sub as He wants, naked and tied to a bench. her exposed ass all His to use for His pleasure....
spanking her leads to pleadings of "please fuck me! i need Your cock!" well, of course He obliges by taking her hard and deep

i must stop there because with every atom that makes up my 4'11 lil self, i am craving this "scene" in my own life. a Man Who knows He wants to fuck me insane. and can do it!!!!!!! taking His rock-solid cock and slamming it into me!
i'd love the chance to dress sexy just to be stripped and totally ravished. hearing my screams of pleasure as each orgasm builds and praying for another.
becoming truly His....

written March 7, 2009

"Total Pleasure"

"OMG!" is all i can say after reading the next section! He must know what i went through as i read the words of how the "Lover" pleasured her in such an intense way! after having her genital area waxed - He took complete control of her body! but i am skipping the beginning!

she did not submit to her "Lover" as she should have, asking too many questions about seeing Him and and wanting control of her pleasure - and wanting control of the collar. submissive, she was not.*

yet, He had something for her to complete. her deed was to dress and be somewhere exactly as He instructed her. she did - He had her waxed completely and then the fun began!!!!! [i can just say omg again!] the "Lover" took her into His mouth, tasting the cleanly-waxed clit and pussy, and drove her crazy! using His mouth to pleasure her was amazing, yet the use of His fingers on her g-spot sent her over the edge!

she knew He was proud of her when the collar became hers again - with strict instructions of course!

a tongue and a hand/fingers are a girl's real best friend! forget diamonds lol. i am having a really hard time writing this because i do not want myself to desire what i do not have. the pleasure of having my body ravished as He ravished her, the reactions she had are so similar to mine when receiving oral pleasure! it is taking everything i have in me not to re-read the passage over and over so i can cum just by mentally "feeling" being orally and finger stimulated. i am sitting here, knowing i could go to bed and allow myself the enjoyment of using a vibe to release the climax but i shall not until He says i may. He trust me and i will keep that trust as long as i am honest...
and in that i receive true, total pleasure at being His...

*based on her actions, i am surprised He allowed her the enjoyment later in the evening.

written March 6, 2009 

"True Beauty"

"True Beauty"
What is it to be a true Beauty? is it how a person is "packaged" - the color of the eyes, or whitest of straight teeth, perfect sized breasts/chest or waist of zero fat? legs that go to "there" or even the perfect "member?" is this all true beauty....

or is it someone not in the perfect body but has the perfect peace about them that comes through in their friendships and caring of others? the Soul shows beauty above all physical beauty

written March 6, 2009

"Controlled"

a true lesson through words. the reading was just as erotic as the past few, yet more subtle. this scenario was not as appealing to me - yet - because i am not used to performing as "she" did for the "Lover."

she was His to do anything He desired...for she was taken as His. her body was no longer hers, and she knew it as He allowed Himself the pleasures He craved from her. His collar showed her truth, that He would do anything He pleased.


stripped of all she was, nothing left but animalistic desire for release. He refused her this request and instead showed it was only His pleasure that was the focus tonight, as it would always. the realization came to her as stings were felt on her ass. disobeying brought consequences. tonight, He would exhibit His full power over her desires by His actions.


He directed Her in pleasing His desires of the moment. using her mouth to please His ready, hard cock was all He chose tonight. He guided the motion of her head by holding her hair...knowing exactly the position He wanted when He climaxed deep into her throat. soon climax overtook Him...
her own cravings being ignored by Him taught her not to question, pout or want without permission, He had told her she no longer had control over her own pleasure. He would tell her when and how and if she could masturbate or climax


am i ready for this? could i bring myself to the point of performing complete oral sex for my Lover's pleasure, allowing His climax taking place in my mouth as He wants? could i actually please His cock and balls with my small mouth and tongue? what would be the consequences...?

slowly licking the tip and shaft before really putting Him in my mouth, i am nervous i will not be enough for His needs. He guides me to fulfill His needs. He has total control of my mouth... taking Him deeper as His excitement heightens, allowing the climax to be released deep within me, feeling Him stiffen even more as His ejaculation fills me....

a desire to please His needs is my only concern when He is with me. controlled?....or loved?

written, March 6, 2009

"Words"

today, more reading. i could hear His silent voice as if the words were His. instructing me in a calm but firm voice. tempting me along the way, the words caused me to desire reality. the reality of being in the presence Him, even if just by phone - hearing the Man's authoritative tone would allow my submission to come easily to Him.

would i do for Him as "she" had done for the "Lover?" allow myself to be "exposed" in such ways? how would i feel if my "exposure" were seen? the submission to it would be a huge test for me, in a public sense. yet, His shared words would help my comfort level.

could i have stayed calm as He spoke those words of intimacy? oh hell no! my body would be desparately craving Him and the mere words He spoke would be causing reactions within me that i know i could not control! He would not be pleased [will not be]....but i responded today.

Words so simple bringing ecstasy to my body

written March 6, 2009

"Need His Touch"

tonight He had me read a story of first-time lovemaking. not just sex but "controlled," beautiful, erotic sensations that led to orgasms so intense i wanted to feel them, craved to feel them and could feel them by the time i finished reading.

does He know this? that i desire Him and can feel Him without even having Him here. i desire His hands on me in ways i can just allow my imagination to fulfill. His fingers exploring me as the "Lover" explored the "woman." teaching her as He spoke of pleasing her body....

will i ever be allowed such pleasure with Someone who truly wants pleasure to be given AND received? there is fear in opening oneself up to the point that you give all you are to Someone - to break down the walls to your Soul. yet, only if/when this takes place is when true passion can be had....
a true Touch between Two

written March 5, 2009

"Today"

today i start a new life, one in which All will see my thoughts and feelings. am i truly ready to expose who i am to All of You? will i be understood and accepted for the honest me?

i am scared yet excited to have the freedom that will allow Others to see, feel, ponder and learn.

written March 5, 2009